What is this?
This is me! Or, rather, this is us! Hello. If you’re here, we’ve probably met, and if not, we aren’t sure quite how you got to be here, but welcome anyway. This is, really, a rather frightening thing for us to do. Not as much the act itself (that’s the easy part) as the expression thereof. The becoming in the eyes of not just ourselves.
Alright, but what happened?
Day one started with an unusual sensation. Not the kind of thing we’d ever really experienced before. For starters, we woke up late, and our stomach was in an appreciable amount of pain. I don’t really know any way to describe it other than an intense emptyness. We’re told that’s a common effect when starting out on spiro. I think we can be okay with that. Low blood pressure? Please, we’ve taken showers before. It’s already something we’re accustomed to, and unlike some of our experiences with it, this one didn’t result in a feeling similar to what felt like our heart slowing down to a crawl.
After that, however, is when things really started to pick up. Or, come to a rest, I suppose. Whereas before being at work might have caused a slow buildup of anxiety, this morning, despite our lateness, was immensely calm. It was a wonderful feeling. It almost felt like the ringing in our ears had ceased entirely, though this was not actually the case. Everything felt crystal clear. This is the way we want to feel.
As the day went on, however, some of our apprehension returned. We spent more time than we should looking at possible complications, no matter how remote the possibility. We have a healthy body, relatively speaking, and know how to reduce the impact of what we’re doing on its vital systems. Please remember, Laevos, your sublingual estradiol (though I don’t think that’ll be a problem, we’re sure to remember it after all we read).
At this point, now getting closer to twenty-four hours since our first dose, it seems that things have gone back down a bit. This isn’t really too surprising for us; it’s going to take some time for the effects to build up, and we know that. This is just the beginning. Peace. We’ve been given that name before. It’s what we’ll strive for. To consist of. To bring about. Things have been anything but peaceful lately, but this is a chance for all of that to change. Thank you, everyone. We love you.