gripping my head
thinking how obvious
your hate for me must be
and what it means that
i pretend not
to see it
attracted to being enemies
someone to skirmish against
because it always looks so fun
hoping
my sweet poison
will lure you to me
making you swarm me
so i can get inside
and infect you
as you decide whether to kill or kiss me
being
something undefined
so you can’t decide
where to place me
but if you drew a line
i’d always be on
the other side
~~~
i don’t think i could ever be loyal to anything but myself, so it doesn’t feel like there’s any cause i’m betraying when i ignore the signs that you’d put me up against the wall if you could.
kabedon of bullets.
but you feel more real.
what’s lauded as community just feels like frivolity. fashion and youth culture empty as it’s always been. because it’s just for finding someone to rape ( you ) into adulthood. so even when i get close enough to you to smell the poison in your brain, at least you’re trying to find something real. even if i look at your dead end death cult ideology, it isn’t as ugly to me as the people who would try and put me on the same side as them.
so be my rival, despise me beautifully, tell me to kill myself every day. i never will, but doesn’t it feel so good to be in hate? don’t waste your time on those pastiches. i can show you depths of disgust you never knew you could feel about a person. open your heart to me so we can go down in an inverted yandere conflagration.